a little girl in the grocery store just asked me if i was a princess because my dress was pretty and i said everyone’s a princess and she pointed to her dad and asked if he was a princess too and her dad said yep its true im a princess and she looked so happy idk it was adorable
the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
tell me a secret
One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.
I can’t breathe
"So I heard you like Fall Out Boy?"
"…. Nope. Not at all."
Student: can I please use the bathroom?
Teachers: why are you taking your bag?
This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.